funeral at st sulpice

attended, honestly-by accident, the last few minutes of a funeral at st sulpice last thurs...appeared to be for young man as little kids followed widow out of cathedral...undertakers very upset with some folks at back of church who didnt have the good raising to stand...held up recessional

interesting to watch...casket in center aisle with huge candles at each corner...flowers underneath...feet first...therefore facing altar...at end...pallbearers...four...hefted it upon shoulders...turning it around...faceforward to head out....cornellia and ed wiler...had i brushed up on my french and been better prepared, i would have asked the family if they had any deviled eggs and tomato aspic...perhaps i could have gone with them to the house...some fried chicken would be good too

no margaret britt, i did not take a chicken casserole

i do attend a lot of funerals...they are very important...and you never know if you might make a difference...my first funeral was that of edgerton rideout...some may recall edgerton...he was a big as the side of the house....first cousin to ma on the pinnell side...i couldnt have been more than 5...sat with ma...on right side of church...very odd i remember...ma always sat on the left...casket was open, large ladies who lived on the rideout farm went up to pay their respects, dressed to kill in black with hose that made loud noises, scrunch-scratch-scrunch, when they walked and big hats with feathers....after the service (this was before we added onto the front of providence...those steps were always mean, they said, for the pallbearers to get down with a casket, especially one as heavy as that one)...there must've been a lot of momentum heading up the aisle because the cart and casket kept going and bumped down a step or 2...i turned around to see...ma told me to face the front...i am sure that dorman probably had a stroke

grandmas was next....2nd grade...7 years old...remember the day she died...ma told us when daddy came in at supper...she was crying...momma was of course in selma...i went out to cry with the dog...dogs are great comforters you know...i remember wendy...who may have been 2 coming out to check on me...she's still checking on me

burying a child has got to be the worst thing ever...granny, grandmas momma, was still living...i can still see and hear her raw emotion...seems like she and aunt frances were there when momma and daddy took me to parishes to see grandma

back to why funerals are important...when we stepped out of the chapel to go to the family car, katy jones was standing there...or she came to the car...cant specifically remember...i will never forget that...we played with brad and alice alot and momma and katy were great buds...for a little boy...having someone he loved and respected in a strange place with mostly strange people for a event in life that he hadnt experienced was a big deal. had the opportunity to share that with katy recently...it seemed as though she barely remembered going...and didnt realize the impact it had on me.

when gan died, mamie helen came and took over. the odoms are always there for important paynter events...thinking back...it was a big deal that she took over at bessie paynters...ma didnt let anybody in the kitchen...except us...ever...but mamie helen was in charge

when ma died and there was 26 inches of snow on the ground, about 100 people came to afton...i think i could name 80 of them...we knew that those folks really wanted to be there....and it meant so much

there are four funerals i would have attended had i not been in europe...
...graham boyd...must get to ferns and lawrence and velvets upon return...always so kind...and when i moved into the house on fairview street, the first housewarming gift i received was from graham and fern...potpurri...when i opened it, i thought, what??? i had sold hundreds of bags of smell of citrus/lemon at interiors...but never had bought any...but a perfect gift...the house was spotless...you could eat off the floors when i moved in...anyone who knows harriet banzet, would know that to be true...but it hadnt been lived in since mrs daniel had passed away....a shut up house, plus a house full of furniture which had been in barns, garages, closets, etc....the perfect gift.

...i think i first met selby benton when i used to hang out at odom motor service with mamie helen and popeye afterschool...the furniture store was next door and if memory serves correctly, he would come in every afternoon for a coke or something...then, in God Squad, we went to summer camp at lake gaston estates and selby was of course there...then, in the 8th grade, he was involved in my nomination to a rotary leadership weekend...in recent years as his eyesight was failing...he would recognize my voice uptown as he sat with popeye and mamie helen selling avon (at last i thought he did-mamie helen may have said, here comes rann-regardless, it made me feel good)

...joan culberson, a true lady and friend in asheboro, wife of banker jim culberson....she was having a bad day when i drove through town in july and jim and i agreed it would be better for me to come another time...but i didnt make it back

...dr holt. when we moved to warrenton, we lived in dr holts little house...he had big dogs...boxers...i remember him coming to see gan when we thought he had kidney cancer...gan's family farmed dr holts daddy's land...a visit to dr holt was also on my list for this fall...3 quickies on dr. holt...he removed a huge moth from my ear one night after a football game...it flew right it...dr holt pulled it out with tweezers...wings still flapping...i thought it was going to go through to the other ear...hurt like hell...not dr holt pulling it out, but the wings flapping

after the christmas party at my house, last year in warrenton, he sent me a note thanking me for inviting him...said he especially enjoyed the silver bullets in the bathtub (which served as the beer cooler), said it reminded him of prohibition

about 5 years ago, wendy had some eye challenges...i didnt think things were progressing fast enough...suggested she call dr holt...she said, he's too old, he's not even practicing...i said, but everybody at duke eye center knows tom holt...so she consented to me giving him a call...i woke him up...he had fallen asleep reading the paper...he said that since he had retired his license, he really didnt know anyone...2 days later...i received...typed...of course...a note from dr holt...it said that he had been thinking about wendy and recalled a few names which he provided...he went further to emphasize that he really was asleep when i called and though it probably sounded like/appeared as though he was drunk or hung over, that was indeed not the case, he had dozed off in the sun while reading the news and observer.